What’s stopping you from being the best Sustainability Leader?

Hint: it’s sometimes closer than you think

Oh no, it’s me!

In my last blog for CISL Master's I wrote about a burgeoning existential crisis regarding my work in civil society/nonprofit sector as a well-paid technical professional vs. the traditional notion of volunteer work in this sector.

Turns out this idea of ‘am I a fake’ is one that’s shared by many of my peers working within civil society, especially those of us who might be a bit (just a bit) younger than other persons in leadership positions within the sustainability field. In conversations over the last few months, over Zoom and other virtual channels of course, I’ve become more and more aware of the almost all-pervasive imposter syndrome that many of us deal with in relation to sustainability issues.

Can we call ourselves a sustainability leader if we keep driving to work? Can I call myself a sustainability leader if I keep forgetting to carry reusable bags to the supermarket? What if someone saw me with a plastic bag walking to my car? Would they realise that I’ve been scamming them all this time? Will I never get invited again to speak on a webinar about climate change and its impacts?

I’ve realised that these questions and many more, plague the internal monologue of many of us working in the sustainability sphere, especially those of us in leadership positions. This idea of not being good enough, or sustainably-minded enough, or experienced enough to occupy these positions, is a common theme that I’m experiencing in talking to my peers about the issues we face as sustainability leaders.

While I don’t think I’ve experienced it to the degree that it becomes a debilitating psychological condition, I have reflected that I have let this perceived imposter syndrome hold me back. In a conversation recently with a friend in the climate change action field, we mentioned another colleague who had won an award for activism — and we were being critical since most of the activities described in the award citation were grossly over-exaggerated. I started thinking about the opportunities that I had been presented over my career to nominate myself for awards to acknowledge my work — and I have never submitted any. In retrospect, I believe I might have not done so because I did not think my work was worth it, and I never bothered to consult anyone else or get a second opinion. While in the big picture, awards might not seem a big deal, we all know that plaudits like that tend to matter in certain spaces that leaders ought to occupy to get our message across.

What can we do to re-shape how we perceive ourselves, and at the same time open ourselves up to appreciating our successes and achievements? Abigail Abrams, writing in TIME, gives 4 options:

1. Try to recognise and acknowledge the feeling of being an imposter and try to put it into context.
2. Consciously re-frame your thoughts to perceive a situation in a more positive light. For example, when given a compliment that you would normally brush off, accept it as a genuine appreciation of your work by someone else.
3. Share and talk about these feelings with people you trust. You might be surprised at how common the experience is!
4. “(You) can still have an impostor moment, but not an impostor life.” Acknowledge these moments but don't let them define how you live on a daily basis.

Ellen Hendricksen in Psychology Today also adds that you should “Keep a little impostor syndrome in your pocket: A balance exists between impostor syndrome and slick, grinning egomania. Authentic modesty keeps you real.” Don't we all know someone who might benefit from a bit of this?

I think for persons like myself and my peers, working in the varied fields of sustainability that are informed by science but that also have a heavy normative and values-driven lens by which our work is judged. It’s sometimes difficult to ever feel like you’re living up to the ever-changing expectations of what it means to ‘live a sustainable life,’ far less be a sustainability leader.

For me, it’s been a process of acknowledging the feelings and internal emotions and coming to the realisation that I am doing as much as I can on a personal level. However, I’ve also realised that the need to strive for this unattainable ideal of living a perfectly curated sustainable life in order to be comfortable in my professional life working to make the world more sustainable, will always be overwhelming. In some ways, it may end up being counterproductive. I suppose, like most things in life, it’s about balance and being happy with where you’ve reached in your own personal journey. The good news is that it feels easier and easier each day.